Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
