sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
