hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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