What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
