Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
