I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Pants are for mortals
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
