watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize