He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
