So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
