What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
