none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
