I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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