just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
