jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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