Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you didnt know i had herpes?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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