I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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