I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
tell me about the fingering
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
