Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
