apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
