The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you still have your period?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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