i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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