i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just blew my weed a kiss
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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