Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
