im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
