did you get engaged???
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
