whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Randomize
