Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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