I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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