Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
