awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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