Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm so fucking centered right now
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
