We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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