Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
