Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
