I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
