and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
