I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
