Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
