Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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