I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he fucked my hip out of place.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
