id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
