Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
