I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
