I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
