You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
