I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
