you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
