I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
