Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just had sex on a roof
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
