Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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