I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
