She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
