I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
