i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
